Alternate Endings
The New Stories Emerging in our Collective Consciousness
As we veer towards the season of new beginnings I’ve been thinking a lot about alternate endings. We are finally entering an age where our pop culture and media are less afraid to present possibilities that we may not have seen as the “norm” before. That, thankfully, reflects the underlying progress (albeit slow) that we are making as a collective. For a long time, we’ve watched movies end all tied up with a bow of convention. It doesn’t apply to reality, but it’s what we’ve been given and the first 45 minutes are often pretty entertaining (see What Women Want or How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days or ANY Rom Com). It’s always been exhausting to me knowing the end of these pop culture fairytales is going to look the same every time. While there’s nothing wrong with a little fantasy indulgence, these depictions tend to seep into our expectations for ourselves and others. The more of them that exist, the harder it becomes to deprogram them from our lives.
For fun…here’s a description from IMDB about the end of What Women Want: “He goes to Darcy's in the middle of the night to finally confess everything. She first fires him, which Nick never saw coming but realizes he deserves it and accepts it. She then forgives him and agrees to save him from himself, to which he responds "My hero" and they kiss. Save him from himself?! I tried that a few times, not recommended.
And, a description from Wikipedia about the end of How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days: “…(Andie) is on her way to Washington, D.C., for an interview, he chases her taxi and stops her. After he accuses her of running away, they reveal their true feelings for each other. Ben instructs the taxi driver to return Andie's belongings to her home - Ben will be taking her now - and then they kiss.” It’s all fun and games until your little girl comes home and says, “Ben will be taking me now.”
Thankfully, this is starting to change. Maybe now I will no longer have to cite the movie Savages with Blake Lively for an example of an “empowered” woman making alternative life decisions (as evidenced by her character’s polyamorous relationship with two hot weed dealers). I need better heroines. Now, we are starting to see that the ending of a story, particularly a woman’s story, in mainstream media can be something other than the mold of a plastic couple on top of a wedding cake.
Can you tell I finally watched the Barbie movie? It was the best. The simple fact that a film this popular posits an alternate ending to fairytale romance that we’ve grown so accustomed to, is wildly refreshing. It’s unfortunate and almost impossible to believe that in 2023 that’s still such a novelty.
I’m a woman in my 40’s with a passion for debunking myths about puritanical expectations, so it feels good to be encouraged by the big screen. I’m not ashamed to say that it’s helpful as I move through my continuous journey of liberation from the B.S. I don’t always want to read literary feminist tomes, sometimes I just want to watch a movie and not want to barf at the end.
Barbie tells the world that she’s not in love with Ken right at that point where all of my conditioning said she might just run off with him and call it a day. I was still surprised to hear her say, “But I don’t love Ken.” All endings are possible and valid and worthy, so it’s time we start getting used to a future without the inevitability of cis het monogamy. And we are moving the needle, or it wouldn’t be reflected back to us on screen. It may be at a snail’s pace, but I’m an optimist so at least it’s happening.
I recently watched Daisy Jones and the Six (I know, I’m late to the game on everything). Daisy’s refusal to be the muse proved to be main character energy, not just a side plot to the story of the tortured male musician. Like with Barbie, it was at that moment where you actually think she might choose the tired trope of trauma-bonded, codependent love over literally everything else, that you see an alternative presented. She releases Billy and herself from that limiting choice. And life doesn’t just go on, there is also growth and expansion. Go figure.
We are learning new lessons and having different conversations as a society. These alternate endings represent new levels of acceptance and open-mindedness. Isn’t it so much more interesting to be surprised? To not have a roadmap in your mind of where every single depiction of romance or women, or men for that matter, in pop culture will eventually end up? Most importantly, it’s realistic. I didn’t need Barbie and Daisy to validate me, but it certainly is nice to be bolstered by depictions of women choosing all kinds of individualized paths and living to see the next day.
I sometimes care what people think, which isn’t my best quality. If “people” see more variety in our collective stories then I have to work a little less hard to remind myself of my inherent worth beyond the linear expectations for women. If that’s true for me then maybe it’s true for others, men and women and everyone in between.
If this post wasn’t feminist enough for you, make sure you read Women Who Run with the Wolves. There was a time before Hollywood and modern fairytales.
Some journaling questions to consider about your alternate ending:
When you were a child what did you see for yourself? How was that conditioned into you? How has that changed?
Are you holding on to something outdated? What is it? Why might you be carrying it with you?
If you let go of ‘supposed to’ and ‘should’ what possibilities could open up for you?
Are you ok with not knowing where you’re going? Can you trust that you will be ok even if your life doesn’t look like you once imagined it?
What does growth and accomplishment mean to you internally and externally?